2:20

It is absolutely 2 in the morning.

I've been trying to sleep since whatever time and to aid myself decided I'd put on one of my audiobooks. I usually aways resort to Harry Potter because Stephen Fry's voice is way nicer than all of my other audiobook narrators and it gets me excited about the film, then I think about how I know the story so well that I don't have to actually listen and I fall asleep.

Instead I tried listening to J.D Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye" - I read the book a couple of years ago and didn't like it, it read to American; sure enough the narrator of the audiobook is too (it would be rather stupid if he wasn't) and it IS too American. I think I like Holden Caulfield more now though, maybe its because I can relate to him being all moody and full of teenage angst and all that Holden Caulfield kind of crap.

I didn't go to Church this morning. My initial plan was to sleep in, get up, do work. Of course, I got up late, made an egg on a tosted bagel and then watched New Scrubs - and even though it was so crap I still watched like 4 episodes. It was just the worst.

I don't in any way feel motivated to do work.

I over the past weekend I've established I've probably done more work than quite a few of my friends. My revision book is packed. I can't remember any of it.

I had/have that Ezra Koeing cover of Paul Simons "Papa Hobo" in my head and every time I closed my eyes it feels like my ears are kicking in and saying "Detroit Detroit, gotta hell of a hockey team" and then I think about Eminem because of 8 Mile and then I think about the Just Lose it video when Michael Jackson got offended (rightly so) and when Jackson was upset Stevie Wonder piped up and said it was offensive and stuff which begs the questions: How has Stevie Wonder seen the video's? and assuming he hasn't, because.. how could he? what right does he have to go sick at Eminem?

Now, obviously I like Stevie Wonder and I quite agree with what he said, but how could he have said it?

I really can't sleep, I feel like Holden and also, I feel like I want to write a novel. Not that I could ever be arsed. I can't even be arsed actually learning the stuff for my exams even if I force myself to sit and write for hours it would seem I'm failing to learn.

I watched a program before during my 3 O'clock brake when I was eating a stake sandwich with melted cheese and fried onion on (boom) called "inside the human body" - On second thoughts, it might have been my 6 O'clock brake - and I was so interested. Now, I was am bad at science, but I liked learning this stuff, most of all, I liked learning it and not having to take an exam.

I want to learn for the sake of learning.

How depressing.

Stupid education system of a society that expects me to know so much and end up making me sit in a puddle of debt.

So tired.

Gna stop listening to J.D and watch an episode of Rasing Hope instead.



God Bless, L x

urgh, its absolutely 2:41 now.