When sorrows come, they come not single spies, But in battalions.

Maybe its because its after Christmas and my brothers have gone back to their homes. Maybe its because the stress of getting my grades is finally hitting me. Possibly its the stress my gap year of which everything's up in the air. Could be because I can't understand someone, feel like I've lost a friendship, which apparently means nothing to them. And this is all on top of other stuff that's way out of my control. but everything's bringing me down.

I have now got 3 offers and one interview, this is good. I'm happy, but its all of a sudden made me very anxious too, getting 3 B's isn't entirely out of my reach (depending on my resit) but, its not well within my reach either. So, yeah, hopefully, these exams have gone fine lately, and I'm on track. I would really like a place at Queens or Manchester. Loads.

Maybe its because the Gossip Girl's run out.

In other news, I am excited. I might be feeling a lot of feelings right now, but they aren't all bad. In fact, I've got a lot to look forward to, some good plans being made hanging out with my cronies and hopefully getting Madrid sorted out soon so I can see Tori. Hanging out with Scotty. Going to London. Hanging out with Suzie for the first time in ages! My Manchester interview and seeing Sam Shaw.

Kombe and Ambers birthdays should be pretty swell too.

I think its all just a matter of clearing my head. This week is really stress full, what with essays, QMAs, exams and coursework in all of my subjects in this week, that and poor situations at School, and then my water infection.

I can't wait to get some sleep + Gossip Girls on tomorrow, so that should be sweeeet.

Anyway, 90210's nearly finished. I have a bed with my name/my bedding on it, and my John Lennox book, so I can try and understand Science for my usual Mezz Debates.

Goodnight and God Bless, L x

Exhausting to say the least.

I know many people reading this aren't Christians, but your support would be lovely thanks!

As many of you are aware, I decided a long time ago that I was going to do a gap year and even though I've had doubts and dreads, especially with the whole tuition fee rise meaning I'm going to end up paying a small fortune (though, it really isn't quite as bad as it looks, just a little) to go to uni. Luckily I've had plenty of support from my family, with even my grandpa saying he'd help out with my uni funding so I don't have to take out such a massive loan.

It's just, I've got plenty of options now, and I don't know where to go with it.. I know I want to do something with the Church, or through some Christian aspect, because I believe the work is good and because I think it will be good for me. And though it comes of as selfish, because, well it is I really am doing my gap year for myself. I don't think going into uni straight after Blue Coat will have the best effect on me, and truthfully, I'm probably not ready for it.. 

A year out to try and focus on my relationship with God, or challenge it further, that's what I need, and if i end up doing charitable work for a good cause in the mean time, well that would be sweet. 

There's loads of things I could do that people have suggested: YWAM, Pais Project, Soul Action, Scripture Union, The Message...

So, this is really just me asking for prayer. I don't know what to do, or what Gods calling me to do, and just want a bit of guidance. I keep getting these great plans laid out and don't know which one is for me..

I'm hoping to get this sorted as soon as my uni business is out of the way, so I will be keeping everyone posted.  

God Bless L x

All that is gold is rusting.. .

I am so looking forward to the end of School. At the start of year 12 I felt claustrophobic, like being trapped in the walls of BC was going to be the death of me, and I hated it. I dreaded coming in, there was no perticular reason, maybe I just realllly wanted to go to Greenhead, but I was so fed up there and even looked round other colleges.
Needless to say, I didn't change colleges and things got better, this time last year I was kicked into action by an appealing parents evening and did work and had a laugh with my friends. I'm beginning to retreat back into cynicism.


I think, what with the pressure for me to get mint grade and, as amber puts it getting " so much shit for not being atheist socialists." that and a couple of other flaws concerning people.. that i'm spending too much time getting worked up.


The upside to all of this is that I'm very excited about next year. I as of so far, have no plans. Well.. I have many ideas, just nothing set in stone.


and that my atheist friends are wrong and that I get eternal joy when I die.


I JUST WANT TO DROP OUT AND BECOME A MUSICIAN.
..


I've been saying that since year 10.

Oh, what a busy week it has been.

I have never quite seen Oldham and Saddleworth bother so much with politics, and hopefully today will have seen a good voter turn out - though, much to the annoyance of my friends who will be spending their evenings and nights counting up the votes, especially after the vote in may which there were 3 recounts.

Yes, Oldham has been an almost exciting place, what with all the MP's hanging around, there was even a small event at Scouthead filling station... nothing ever happens there. They still have the same magazines up from 2009... and I'm very nearly its only customer. Sadly, because I quit smoking, there was no need for me to take a trip to the garage and didn't find out until the evening about what had happened.

Conservative Supporter and fellow editor of 'The Sarah Hall Show'
on Newsnight at Upermill civic hall last night. 

Anyway, after a phone call from the BBC last week, I very nearly found myself on last nights Newsnight Special, sadly due to my age, i didn't quite qualify, luckily some good friends of mine did: see Amy Hughes' blog for information about it!

I have never really seen my school get so excited about anything to do with politics, and though it was just because there were students from college on Newsnight, I think the buzz was a nice break from exams.

Yes, that's right, January exams have fallen upon us. I, luckily only had one "real" exam which was my theology resit. There was a time when I felt that it went ok, but in hindsight I'm not hopeful for my results in March. And although General Studies and Citizenship are (lets be honest) pointless subjects, it is an added bonus to a stressful month of more History coursework.

I don't have much more to say, and will try and get something up about the by-election tomorrow evening, I'm devoting my friday evening to getting coursework done, so blogging will prove as a needed distraction im sure.

Anyway, I will leave you with some article links on the past couple of week news.

http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1404884_benefits_blackspot_the_oldham_estate_where_just_three_people_go_out_to_work?related_link
(Oldham's benefit claims)

http://www.saddleworthnews.com/
(All the by-election news and coverage ever needed)

http://foodjihad.com/2011/01/09/a-reaction-for-my-city-%D8%B1%D8%AF-%D9%81%D8%B9%D9%84/
(Reaction of my brothers girlfriend of the Arizona Shootings)

http://thequietus.com/
(My Art's and Entertainment site of the week)

God Bless, L x

A new year is upon us,

and I wish everyone the best. The 12 days of Christmas are finally over and all of a sudden everyone's returning back to college and drinking wine at 3 in the afternoon no longer seems ok.


Christmas saw little take place, what with my parents out street pastoring  and my brothers travelling.. this Christmas was hardly one to remember, not that it was bad at all.. just, not really Christmas.


However, I am welcoming the year with open arms, clean lungs and room for improvement on last year. The last two years I've been trying to clean up from the mess I made, or at least, the last year and a half. Now I want to start doing things again, I'm not sure what exactly these things may be.. but anything. I spent all last year complaining about how boring my life was, and then all I did to get rid of that was drink.


I think this year, I might go materialistic; its probably just the Gossip Girl getting to me though.


Being back at College after Christmas, was, as expected dreary, maybe its because we're all growing up but all anyone seems to do is sit about and do work.. Not that thats not important, infact, as well as quitting smoking and getting more materialistic, I intend on doing more work, but socially, we don't do much.


I don't quite have any answers to this problem. Much as I love my friends outside of school, they tend to be spread out accross the country in term time because of uni, or in some cases.. "buisness" and the remaining (not including the Church Community) are the Saddleworth lot, much as I like them, and I do like them.. they arn't really my scene. Besides the fact that they have all pretty much slept together, the whole, going to parties and all the guys getting naked and the girls wanting to sleep with all of the guys but getting with their best friends scene is getting a little.. repetative and boring.


I want a new, exciting social scene, I want to be materialistic.. when my funding permits, I want clean lungs, though, I'm not sure if that will suffice, and I want to focus on my work, future and plans for my Gap year.


Surely this isn't too much to ask?


So this is the new year. And I don't feel any different.