Did doubt fill up your shoes with problems you could dance to?

Since I quit smoking about 3 months ago, I have only smoked drunk, or like twice soberly... today I actually bought one. I don't know why. I wasn't feeling crappy. I just wanted one. I hate that I wanted one, it wasn't a craving, needy type of want. It was just, I felt like it, I figure if I can quit, which I know I can, I should quit when I want to quit, not for anyone else... Obviously, I don't want to smoke like I used to.. I don't want to waste my money. I don't know. I had to write this because I felt guilty for actually paying for the habbit, erm... but also? i dont know... I dont know what to do.


Smoke Don't Smoke...

Urgh.


Like, im ashamed of myself, but... I'm not aditcted.. so..


I don't even know.

On the upside, when I was buying a couple of Zachy from the back shop who apparently sells single ciggarettes on their own now (which is ironicly named a "Lucy") he messed about with my phone and went on the bible and we were chatting about God and Jesus... It was pretty sweet and was I think one of the best bits of my day.. It was really sad the way he was talking about his family and Islam. Apparently his best friends a Christian and so he's been to church with him a couple of times. I shouted at him for having communion even though he's supposed to be a Muslim, but i secretly loved it because its Zach.. he started telling me about how he loves stained glass windows because of the story's they tell.


So we talked about the seminar I went to last night at Reaches' "exchange" about the power of story telling, which was really really awesome. Like, amazing.. If they get a podcast up I will link it because it was mint, and completely relevant to me and Zach talking. 


So at least there was one good thing that came out of this...


anyway, this is very sloppy writing and I'm very tired,


God Bless, L x